Girl! My creative expression used to be limited by my routine. Every day was the same as the day before, and the day before that.
- First, I woke up.
- Then, I dragged myself to the bathroom only to see a fog of doubt reflecting back at me in the mirror.
- Afterward, I drank my morning caramel latte, ate my yogurt and granola parfait.
- Finally, I took out my laptop, then my monitor, only to be greeted by the same voices and script on my screen.
The problem was, I wasn’t leading a fulfilled life because I was following a blueprint for what a successful life was. I wasn’t recognizing the importance of my own natural talents and intentions, so I felt stuck. Until I realized that to create the life I desired, I needed to switch from routine to intention. This is not to say that our identity starts and ends with us, but external forces can also play a role in our routines. Routine, to me, is the mundane patterns of behavior that the world wants and expects, while intention is listening to your soul and feeding it with nourishment and tenderness. The same routines can invigorate and inspire me once I take the time to recognize how important it is to care for myself. Thus, I wasn’t recognizing who I was outside of those morning mundane cycles because I associated who I was with what I did–not what I truly needed or desired.
Have you ever felt this way?
Perhaps it never dawned on you that stagnant routines can torment your own sense of identity, the fundamental relationship you have with your mind, body, and soul.
Those who follow routines, without much thought, neglect why they can feel an incomplete sense of self. These identity-seekers do not have a clear handle on who they are, or their purpose in the world. If you are reading this, chances are you are not sure how to separate who you are from what you do and the people, or things you surround yourself with.
When you are an identity-seeker, you are motivated by the attention your actions get, rather than the personal meaning behind your life’s choices. For instance, an identity-seeker is motivated by a desire to belong, not to be oneself. You can prioritize acceptance over authenticity.
Having intention leads you to owning your actions for the day. By connecting to your actions throughout the day, you are no longer an identity-seeker because you are not controlled by actions. You are inner-directed, a feeling that comes from questioning your motives. You can be doing the same actions, but the intention creates inner-directedness.
Sometimes our routines are motivated by a pleasant memory because they remind us of how we were raised by family or influenced by our peers. This creates a sentimental attachment that we find difficult to question. We don’t always agree with our family and friends, though. Can you remember holding onto a belief that conflicted with your loved ones’ beliefs, but you held back? Where did it come from and why do you stand by this belief? These are some of the questions I ask myself.
My educational career has been marked by what was expected of me. After getting my MBA, I was continuing my routine on the assumption that I was a model candidate for any job. When life did not match the results my routine promised me, I began to question my routine’s purpose.
My life was proceeding exactly as I had pictured it until the moment I was offered a human resources position within my company, a position that I was later turned down for. I was identifying myself solely based on my role as a human resources professional.
In this moment, I was reminded of the harsh words that were spoken to me earlier, which I allowed to define me: “It will be difficult to start your human resources career. You are entry material, and you will never get another interview.” This became my bleak reality. It was a painful label, to say the least, and a cry that woke up my spirit. I found myself drowning in my own sorrow because I allowed someone else to tell me who I was.
When my dream was snatched away from me, I denied my own existence; I let myself believe that I was not good enough–a failure. In the process, I forgot the skills, talents, and strengths that make me rooted. I was hoping that by showing up every day and repeating the same mundane tasks, this would lead me to a promotion. As I repeated these thoughts over and over while shedding angry tears, I let others take over my mindset. I told myself, “I don’t care about this job.” I began looking for a way to replace my identity by looking for another human resources job.
You can see the way I was slipping back into routine with my thinking.
Something shifted when I realized that it is possible to put myself first and find happiness in what I am doing. The saying goes, “Do what you love”; that is what I am working towards.
I chose to no longer be merely defined by the corporate rat race, which is rigidly structured. I realized that I do not have to maintain the same goals throughout my life; I can discover new passions. It can be frightening to change tracks, but that does not mean it is not worth the risk. It is fine to have routines, but we cannot let our life be defined by the actions of routines alone. Action and intention make life more meaningful.
Let me share with you a couple ways I transitioned from routines to intentions:
Instead of jumping out of bed 20 minutes before work, I woke up earlier to have intimate moments with myself while placing my hand over my heart and acknowledging me.
Instead of doing a quick wash and go, I exfoliated my skin with some love.
Instead of eating my breakfast while scrolling through Instagram or watching the news, I journaled how I wanted my day to look and what emotions arose.
…and the list goes on.
Remember this: You get to create the life of your dreams, only if you allow space for it.
To stop identifying yourself by your job and other aspects of your life, you must break and look at routine differently.
- What parts of your routine would you like to focus on to gain more intention and excitement?
- What areas in your life do you want to take from routine to intention?
I am here to help you create an action plan that will enable you to feel confident in your identity while enjoying life’s simple pleasures. Leave your labels and self-criticism behind, focus on your internal value, and escape routine by painting your very own intentional flow.
XO,
